Pensando ...

I'm in a reflective mood today. Concentrate on what my future can be like (if I let it...) instead of thinking of could have, would have and should have done in the past.


One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. Which road do I take? she asked. Where do you want to go? was his response. I don't know, Alice answered. Then, said the cat, it doesn't matter.

Takin' it easy ...

I am in the mood to take it easy today. Maybe I should take a stroll through a park, just to spend some time outside instead of being glued to my laptop. I have some serious thinking to do and think that the best way to get it done is to go away by myself for a while. I know I should not force the issue; decisions are not coming easy lately and I don't want to make myself crazy by stressing out. I think it would be good for me to spend time outside in the fresh air and just go with the flow. Sometimes things come together more quickly if I forget about them for a while.

Wonder what the future has in store for me?

I am hooked on the tv show Flash Forward. In this tv show one day everyone in the world blacks out for 2 minutes and 17 seconds and see a glimpse of their future. Would I really want to know my future? Some days I do, some days I don’t. If it was going to be good news, I would love to know. And if something bad would happen to my family I would want to know it too. But ultimately, I don’t think so. This is the journey we are on. We make our decisions and choices, and the experience of life is living by them, for good or for bad. Such is life. And therein lies the lesson. To not have that lesson is to not tackle life. Just live the answer.

Cleaning House

I realise that some ideas have outworn their usefulness. Although this insight is pretty clear to me it seems difficult to let go. I know it will stop my progress and still it is hard for me to let go. I need to think about "cleaning house" and not holding on to things that are not serving me. Loyalty is very important to me, but when it becomes misplaced loyalty it will take me towards problems and unhappiness instead of healing and peace. I can remember situations in which I showed my loyalty despite being hurt and disappointed so many times and still I was able to forgive them for the sake of friendship and because I always tried to understood their motives. I have come this far, so now I have to continue and let go.

Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together

I believe everything happens for a reason. People change so you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so that you will eventually learn to trust no one but yourself. Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together!

I truly believe people come into your life for a reason at the time you need them the very most. PDX came in my life when I broke up with my former boyfriend. I know PDX's friendship is one of the most treasured gifts in my life if only because he helped me to prepare to face a very difficult period I would never thought it would come my way. He does not know it and it may not look like it, but I truly appreciate his friendship. At times he can drive me crazy for being so indecisive, lazy and procrastinating everything he can imagine putting off. Nonetheless, I appreciate his friendship and love him for who he is. I thank him for being my friend and most for helping me realize it will all work out! Finally, I am in a good place now. It's only the beginning but at least it's a start ...