Takin' it easy ...

I am in the mood to take it easy today. Maybe I should take a stroll through a park, just to spend some time outside instead of being glued to my laptop. I have some serious thinking to do and think that the best way to get it done is to go away by myself for a while. I know I should not force the issue; decisions are not coming easy lately and I don't want to make myself crazy by stressing out. I think it would be good for me to spend time outside in the fresh air and just go with the flow. Sometimes things come together more quickly if I forget about them for a while.

Wonder what the future has in store for me?

I am hooked on the tv show Flash Forward. In this tv show one day everyone in the world blacks out for 2 minutes and 17 seconds and see a glimpse of their future. Would I really want to know my future? Some days I do, some days I don’t. If it was going to be good news, I would love to know. And if something bad would happen to my family I would want to know it too. But ultimately, I don’t think so. This is the journey we are on. We make our decisions and choices, and the experience of life is living by them, for good or for bad. Such is life. And therein lies the lesson. To not have that lesson is to not tackle life. Just live the answer.

Cleaning House

I realise that some ideas have outworn their usefulness. Although this insight is pretty clear to me it seems difficult to let go. I know it will stop my progress and still it is hard for me to let go. I need to think about "cleaning house" and not holding on to things that are not serving me. Loyalty is very important to me, but when it becomes misplaced loyalty it will take me towards problems and unhappiness instead of healing and peace. I can remember situations in which I showed my loyalty despite being hurt and disappointed so many times and still I was able to forgive them for the sake of friendship and because I always tried to understood their motives. I have come this far, so now I have to continue and let go.

From knee cap dislocaton to recovery training to the NY marathon

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. I should remember this again when I get on the stationary bike for my recovery training or when I can do my first run ... Unfortunately, running I have to postpone for another couple of weeks. A fortnight ago I had a minor surgery. They removed the screws in my knee cap of my right leg. Let's hope this time it will work out and that I could live pain free again. Even it would take away the pain just a little bit, I would be in seventh heaven. Just as long as I can do my running and cycling again. Maybe I'm pushing it, but I really miss doing sports. I still work out at the gym, do kick boxing occasionnaly, but miss the outdoor experience. I miss the smell of grass early mornings, even the smell of country life during my runs when I visit my parents or feeling rain drops on my skin. Maybe I just miss being outside in the fields. It has also been a long time since I had my last swim. I should start going to the swimming pool again and see if I can afford to sign up for the TI workshop in Barcelona. And I definitely should go to the beach this weekend for a brisk walk. I'm considering running the NY marathon 2010. I mentioned it to my PT, but he was not too fond of the idea. The NY marathon in 2010 will be on November 7. That will be 11 months from now, so I would have plenty of time to get in shape, provided my knees will hold up. Besides commitment, I need a plan, a training schedule as it will take a well designed, logical build up program to get in shape. I will ask advise from a talented Dutch tri-athlete who also does personal coaching. It would be so cool if he would agree to be my coach and help me to get ready to run the NY marathon.

Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together

I believe everything happens for a reason. People change so you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so that you will eventually learn to trust no one but yourself. Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together!

I truly believe people come into your life for a reason at the time you need them the very most. PDX came in my life when I broke up with my former boyfriend. I know PDX's friendship is one of the most treasured gifts in my life if only because he helped me to prepare to face a very difficult period I would never thought it would come my way. He does not know it and it may not look like it, but I truly appreciate his friendship. At times he can drive me crazy for being so indecisive, lazy and procrastinating everything he can imagine putting off. Nonetheless, I appreciate his friendship and love him for who he is. I thank him for being my friend and most for helping me realize it will all work out! Finally, I am in a good place now. It's only the beginning but at least it's a start ...

"What do you think? I'm not a starfish or a pepper tree. I'm a living, breathing human being. Of course I've been in love."
— Haruki Murakami (Kafka on the Shore)

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

Hakha The Hunter

Hakha the Hunter by Marcos Domenech for Killzone/Guerrilla Games/Sony. The artist was able to give it a cinematic and emotional feel to it. Makes me feel like I'm there. Luvvin' it!

About dating a triathlete 2

So.... that makes me the perfect sherpa, because I'm not racing??? Hilarious!

I Heart IronMan - About dating a triathlete

Read this on the Internet today. It's so funny!

"I'm an outdoors type of person." Really means: I train in any type of weather. If its raining, snowing, 90 degrees 

w/100% humidity, or winds gusting at 30 mph. I don't want to hear any complaints because I will still train in it and you're 
just a big wuss for complaining about it. 

"I enjoy riding my bike." Really means: with or w/o aero bars, alone or in a 
peleton, I don't care. If you can't do a spur of the moment 30 miler then you're 
not my type. I will let you draft, but if you can't hang and I drop you I will see 
you later. I am a capable mechanic, but don't expect me to change your flats or 
tune your bike. You need to learn that on your own. 

"I enjoy jogging." Really means: Let's run hills until we puke. I have just as many 
shoes as you only mine are better because they are functional and all look the 
same.

"I enjoy dining out." Really means: I enjoy eating out, in or anywhere else I can 
find food. Don't be shy because with the amount of food I eat, you can have 
that main entree instead of a salad and you will still look as though you eat like a 
rabbit in comparison. Don't get your limbs too close though as I may take a bite 
out of you. Most importantly don't expect any taste off my plate unless you can 
bring something to the party like more food. Eventually though if you are not 
burning 4,000+ calories a day you are going to plump up and have a terrible 
complex due to watching me eat deserts and not gain any weight. Friends and 
family will eventually decide not to dine with us anymore due to my horrid table 
manners. Oh, and don't ask me any questions during breakfast, Mid Morning 
Lunch, Lunch, Afternoon lunch, Dinner or Recovery Dinner as it does not lend to 
efficient food intake. 

"I enjoy quiet walks on the beach." 

Really means: Walks on the beach warming up into an 8 mile run and then plunging 

myself in the ocean for a 2 miler. If you get in my way you're going to find out what mass start is and let me assure you 
that you don't want to find out. 

"I find fulfillment in charitable work." 

Really means: If I am not racing, I am volunteering and I expect you to be there along 

side me as I stand out in 90degree weather for 8 hours handing out sports drink to cyclists going 20 mph. 
Just stick the ol' arm out there and hope it doesn't get taken off.

" I enjoy sharing quiet moments together. "  

Really means:  It's taper time. Just back off because I am strategizing and in a pissy mood because I am worried about my "A" race and can't work out. 

"I'm an active person." 

Really means: Aside from my 40 hour job and the 8 mandatory hours of sleep a night; 10 hours a week are devoted to me during the off-season and 20 hours during the race season leaving us 4 hours, 2 of which are spent inhaling food and you not talking to me. So let's make the best of the 2 hours we will spend together on average each day. If you are a licensed massage therapist or doctor this would make the most optimal use of our time together. A nutritionist is also acceptable, but I probably already know as much as you.

"I enjoy road trips and leisurely drives." 

Really means: You don't have your choice of Wisconsin, Idaho, Florida, California, Arizona and New York, but don't expect to do much site seeing. If I get enough support from you we might be able to include Hawaii in there. 

"I enjoy site seeing." 

Really means: Let's grab a mountain bike and get our HR's up to 90%. There is plenty of time to look around on the descent as trees and bushes whiz by you at 40 mph

" I like stimulating conversation. " 

Really means: while we are running, we can talk about food. Then we can talk about how we decided what to wear on this run based on the temperature at start time versus the temperature at the time we expect to finish, how horribly out of shape we are, how many miles we did last week and how many we will do this week and next week. Then we can talk about food.  

" I enjoy relaxing soaks in the tub." 

Really means: I'm going to stop on the way home and buy two bags of ice, throw them in the tub with some water and sit in this torture chamber for 30 minutes. 

"I'm interested in photography." 

Really means: My camera is permanently  perched a tripod in front of my trainer. I obsess over taking photos of my bike position and analyzing them to get the perfect setup.

" I'm into technology."

Really means: My HRM and bike computer are my best friends. Until you can give me some hard data that can improve my training don't bother trying to buddy up to me. You could one day break into the top three if I find you as entertaining on long runs and rides as my mp3 player. 

O bla di o bla da

O bla di o bla da Life Goes On .. La La La Life Goes On

A few hiccups with my knee caps but hey... O bla di o bla da La La La Life Goes On! Singing this song makes me smile again!